Handling the December Dilemma

December 16, 2005

Handling the December Dilemma

1. We are back to the theme of Christmas and Hannukah. Conflicts, tensions and frustrations associated with that season. The theme plagues us yearly:
2. It is more than school choruses.
   • The uneasiness of Christmas parties
   • The spectacle of the placing of Christmas trees and menorahs/dreidels in our public schools
   • The frustration at having our teachers singing Christmas songs with our children
   • The confusion as to whether or not to allow children to enjoy Christmas displays in Menlo Park and Rockefeller Center
   • The accusation, this year, of a "War against Christmas in the retail industry and government sphere"
   • The thin line of how to parse fine distinctions made in public schools between menorahs and dreidels; Christmas trees and nativity scenes; displays in hallways vs. classrooms.
3. You may recall a few years ago when a Jewish woman in New England suing the post office for the issuing of Christmas stamps--violation of separation of church and state, she said.
4. Speaking of Christmas stamps, I was recently contacted by an Orthodox colleague, who wanted to plan an event. He told me that he would send me material in mail. When I received the package in the mail it was filled with Christmas stamps.
5. Someone recently gave me wine as gift, wrapped in Christmas paper. They apologized sheepishly. I really didn't notice.
6. In Israel, it is not uncommon to decorate Sukkot with Christmas lights!
7. My question -- Why is it that those who are more faithful to Jewish Law are less bothered by intrusions of Christmas into wrapping paper and stamps on letters? Think about it. Perhaps because a resolute inner Jewish/religious life makes one more immune to the whims of this season.
8. My guideline -- In coping with season around us, work on big stuff -- not sweat the small stuff. What is small stuff? -- Any aspect of Christmas that does not seriously threaten our religious belief or that of our children. What is the big stuff? Any aspect of this season that does threaten our religious belief or that of our children.
9. For example, specifically: - Christmas stamps are small stuff - Display of Christmas in our schools may be violations of the law of church and state. However, they are a realistic manifestation of living as a minority in a majority society at this time of year. Most of these are small stuff because they don't not threaten our religious beliefs or convey the essence of Christian theology to our children. - Christmas parties in the offices are small stuff, and even most "seasonal" displays on municipal property. - However, when it comes to plays depicting the Nativity, or Jewish children participating or being required to participate in patently choral religious aspects of the holiday, then we are talking about big stuff and we should sweat it.
10. Which brings me to my second point regarding the comparison of Hannukah and Christmas. Sometimes we will hear in our Jewish community voices who insist that the two holidays are so totally different and that we should resist comparison of the two. For example, some year ago, objections to the Woodbridge library juxtaposing displays of the two holidays.
    • Place that objection in the category of great philosopher Pogo who said: "We are our own worst enemies."
    • Surely the two holidays are very different; Christmas is minor and Hannukah is major. Christmas celebrates one who in Christianity superceded the Torah. Hannukah celebrates Jewish survival against all odds for the sake of Torah.
    • But what can be harmful if the Christian majority holiday stimulates our own celebration of our own unique holiday? What is inherently wrong with adding, and not subtracting another festival to the calendar, even if we must go mad with gifts, as long as we not fuse the two holidays into one?
    • Gift giving at Hannukah, displays of the menorah in public places, displays in library showing off our tradition, menorot in school halls are a welcome addition to our Jewish religious repertoire.
    • One last point about the alleged "War Against Christmas" accusation of the religious right -- in advertising and in the White House. It may be a veiled accusation against liberals and Jews.
    • A joke is told in church circles: An elderly woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She asked the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" "What denomination?" the clerk asked. "God help us," the woman replied. "Has it come to this? Give me 6 Hannukah, 10 Kwanza, and 22 Ramadan."
    • The accusation of a religious war takes on a life of its own, whether accurate or not. But I know of no organized attempt by any Jewish religious organization to kill Christmas. I think it is hot air at best, an attempt to remind us that we are a minority, at best, or a strike at secularists. One reader of a recent column of mine in USA Today, "Rabbi, don't you think that too much time is spent on Hannukah, since Jews are only 2+% in a country which is 90% Christian?" I answered him that it was not I who invented the phrase "three great faiths" and now, with Islam being the fastest growing religion in the US "Abrahamic Faiths." The influence of a particular religion is apparently not determined by numbers alone.
    • Close with my favorite story at this time of year. Soldier in army WWI who goes to his rabbi for guidance. "What should I eat?" Rabbi responds, "Eat the meat but don't suck the bones." We should eat the meat of this season, as long as we don't suck the bones. 1